It's time to go public...

As anyone struggling with infertility knows, this is a very private, personal journey. You only tell people who are very close to you. When people ask why you don't have kids yet, you make something up about "just enjoying life" or "maybe in a few years" without letting your internal pain and sadness show. When Dr. Hammond from the Cade Foundation informed us that we would be required to submit media outlets in our area and that there would be press releases sent out that we were chosen as grant recipients, I panicked. Ryan was less concerned because he works in a different area than we live, but I work (as a psychologist) with patients in the area where we live. I did not plan on telling many of my co-workers, much less my patients, about my personal struggles that I had become so good at leaving at home when I went to work. So now they may see our story on the news?? I had to think long and hard about how this would impact my professional and personal life. I try not to intertwine the two and now I have to. Dr. Hammond and I spoke for awhile on the phone about my concerns. She shared her own story and similar fears of letting her story "out." She is a physician by training and similarly did not want her patients and colleagues to know she was battling infertility, but she chose to be selfless and share her story with the public. In fact, her story went national. Her mother, Dr. Tinina Cade, at age 55 was the surrogate for Dr. Hammond's triplets. The story was told on national media programs. She explained to me that with our story being out in the public, we can been resources for other people struggling with similar issues in our area. I told her I had planned to see infertility patients professionally in the future, but did not realize our story would be exposed so soon. At the end of our conversation I told her I was ready. I'm not sure what to expect... how people will react or what changes this will bring to my life, but this isn't about me anymore. I'm ready... And this blog is the first step in putting our story out there.