So Far So Good...

Sorry for the delay! We've been very busy adjusting to our move (from Mount Joy to Lancaster) and trying to get settled. But, as of now things are still going strong with the pregnancy. I had another blood test on Ryan's birthday (3/9) and the HCG levels had skyrocketed to over 3,000 so the doctor's office was very pleased with that. They were going to keep checking them until they were over 1,000 so we surpassed that after just 2 blood tests. When they informed me of those numbers, they said it was time to schedule my prenatal appointment. That just seemed to surreal to me, but very exciting! So that appointment was yesterday (3/20). The nurse practitioner did an exam and reviewed diet and exercise restrictions. She said I should keep taking my progesterone and estrogen until 4/15. I also scheduled our first ultrasound which will be on 3/27!! We are VERY excited for that because they think we should be able to hear the heartbeat. We'll also find out if we are expecting 1 or 2!! Lots of exciting stuff ahead. We'll be sure to post a picture of the ultrasound. We've been through many an ultrasound during the diagnostic and monitoring phases, but it will be so nice to actually see something in the uterus this time!

As of now, I am 6 weeks and 3 days along. My due date is 11/11 (pretty cool, huh?). I've been feeling good, but hungry constantly (not too far from normal). And a little more fatigued, but not too bad. I haven't fallen asleep on any patients (yet).

We'll be back with an update after the ultrasound next week!

Cautiously Celebrating

After a day to digest the news, we have come back down to Earth. Although we are EXTREMELY happy and excited, we have decided to adopt the concept of "cautious celebration" until my HCG levels are where they need to be and we are completely confident that it is a viable pregnancy. We will not be making our pregnancy common knowledge (to those with whom we have not shared this journey) until we get to that point. Thank you for all the well wishes we've been receiving. A few more blood tests will hopefully increase our confidence and make this feel more real...

Baby...Baby...Pirate? Aw... Wait, pirates are wild! We're pregnant!!!

In one of my favorite scenes from The Simpson's, the character Apu's wife - Manjula - is taking a pregnancy test, and the results are delivered slot machine style - one symbol at a time. First, an image of a baby appears, next a second baby, finally, a picture of a pirate appears and they groan, before reading the directions and finding out that pirates are wild. So yes, three of a kind - they are indeed pregnant. I've always thought it would be neat to find out you were pregnant with a slot machine style pregnancy test - but I guess I'll take this way too...

Just when we thought there was no help left, together with the love and support of all our friends and families - we are now at the top of this ever so steep uphill climb. We found out today the results of Jen's blood work - and well, I guess you can figure out it was excellent news. We'll hold off on our big, mega, huge blowout celebration for 9 months (Nov 10th?), but we can finally let out a long - LONG - overdue sigh of relief. Finally, FINALLY, we can let tears of joy flow from our eyes instead of those stinging tears of pain, sorrow and frustration... There is still more bloodwork to be done, and ultrasounds to go through, but for now, we wanted you all - our biggest supporters - to know where our journey has led us. From the depths of our hearts, a giant THANK YOU for being there for us!

Still waiting...

All the books, articles, blogs, forums, etc. that we have read over the past 2 years did NOT exaggerate how difficult the infamous "2 week wait" is. Now, we've been in the 2 week wait many, many times (27 to be exact) while trying to conceive over the past 2 years and 3 months, but nothing compares to the 2 week wait after IVF. We actually feel like we have a chance this time and cannot wait to find out if this will be our answer. Our pregnancy test is scheduled for 3/5 at 11:30am and then they will call me later that afternoon with the results. We probably will not update this blog before then because we are keeping ourselves VERY busy this next week. We have things planned with each other, friends or family, work, or fantasy baseball (in Ryan's case) every day and evening this week. We have every intention of keeping our minds off of what is to come, BUT we would love for all of you to keep us on your minds with thoughts, prayers, positive vibes, and fingers crossed!!

In the meantime, we leave you with a very touching poem I came across while reading Every Drunken Cheerleader Why Not Me? by Kristine Waits, a book I'm reading for an infertility support group I recently joined. We'll be discussing this book tomorrow evening. This poem hit a cord with both me and Ryan as we try very hard to be patiently waiting at this time...

Patiently Waiting

Baby I love you though God has not yet given you to me,
I have spent my whole life learning patience and that is now what I am trying to be.

I love you though we have not met, and though you are not yet real;
Somehow you are in every thought, and love is all I feel.

You're a dream I didn't know I had, a prayer I didn't know I would pray;
A song that I would sing for you, if only you would stay.

We want you in our life to share a love that is so strong;
And we will continue to wait for you - it does not matter how long.

We believe God's perfect plan so you will come when the time is right;
And though you are not yet real, you are already Mommy's delight.

I want to hold you in my arms and teach you to be great;
I want you to be our legacy, our destiny, our fate.

Your daddy and I love you and we can't wait for the day;
When we hug and kiss you gently and you will not go away.

We have a wonderful marriage, maybe this hardship is our test;
But holding hands together, we continue to pray for the best.

That you will grace our lives with greatness and make us a family;
So the love that is too much for two can soon be shared by three.

Waiting is the hardest part...

Since our last entry, we got a phone call letting us know that out of the 11 eggs retrieved, 8 were mature enough to be fertilized and 5 were showing early signs of fertilization. Then we got a call the next day and said the 5 had developed into embryos. The embryos would continue to incubate for the next 3 days and then we would go into the office to discuss the quality of the embryos and Dr. Filer would make recommendations on which one(s) had the best chance of successful implantation. So that's what we did today...

I had to get up at 6am and start downing 48oz of fluid so that my bladder was full when we got to the office at 7:15. I had to sit uncomfortably in the waiting room crossing and uncrossing my legs and trying not to think about how badly I had to pee. They called us back and reviewed what would be happening today and the discharge instructions. I had an ultrasound and then Dr. Filer came in with a photo of our 2 best embryos (see below). He said they looked great and he thought we should implant both and we agreed. He informed us that they would have to use assisted hatching because the lining around the blastocysts was thicker than they would have liked. Assisted hatching means they make a small hole in the lining to give the blastocyst an "exit" to break out of the lining and attach itself to the uterine wall. 

If you're wondering what happened to the other 3 embryos- one of them stopped growing at 10 cells and the other two were not quite to the level of blastocyst (referring to the number of cells that had multiplied). They will continue to monitor those 2 and then decide if they were good enough quality to freeze. So, after our conversation, I rolled over to one side and had an injection (I thought I was DONE with those!) in my buttocks (ouch!) of Versed, which is a benzodiazepine to help relax me before the procedure. I liked that one! I was nice and calm and I think I dozed off for a short nap. Dr. Filer said the blastocysts were implanted smoothly.  I have been taking progesterone (through vaginal suppositories) for 4 days so my uterine lining is supposedly nice and thick and sticky, just what those little guys need. I will continue to take the progesterone 3 times a day, 81mg of aspirin, 16mg of Mendrol (a steroid that is necessary because they did assisted hatching), and a Vivelle (estrogen) patch. At least they aren't injections! These should be a piece of cake. I'm currently on 24 hours of best rest and am required to keep my abdomen completely flat, unless I have to get up to use the bathroom. So far I'm finding it pretty enjoyable, but I'm sure I'll be bored out of my mind in no time.

Our pregnancy blood test is scheduled at the Lancaster office for MARCH 5. So now we are in the dreaded waiting period for the next 11 days. We welcome lots of distractions during this time!!

Off To Make a Baby (in a very nonromantic way)

Today is the big day. It's 6:40am and we are leaving in about 20 minutes to go to The Fertility Center for the egg retrieval. Ryan will have a specimen in hand and then they will put me to sleep and remove as many eggs as I have produced with the help of the injectables. Then, they will choose the best quality eggs and best quality sperm and have them meet lovingly in something like a petri dish. The ICSI procedure will be used to insert one sperm into each of the eggs, in hopes of increasing the chances of fertilization. Over the next few days they will monitor the development of embryos and let us know how things are looking. The embryo transfer (i.e. placement of embryo into my uterus) will be either Thursday or Friday next week.

The injectables went relatively smoothy overall. I only have a few bruises on my stomach and thighs to show for them. On Thursday after my bloodwork and ultrasound I got a call from one of the nurses saying that everything looked good and I was ready to go a day earlier than expected. They moved the egg retrieval up to Saturday instead of Sunday. I was also told that I was DONE with the Lupron, Follistim, and Menopur, but just before I could jump for joy, she said I'd have to do one final injection- HCG. So Thursday night, Ryan prepared the HCG for me and I injected it and then we had a mini-ceremony, saying goodbye to our nightly rituals of injection- hopefully for good. Friday morning I had to take a pregnancy test that was supposed to come out positive (which it did) because of the HCG. My first positive pregnancy test, but it wasn't "real." All day Friday I felt extremely bloated and got the sense that my follicles were trying to bust out of me. It feels like I'm ready to go!

So, off we go for a morning of babymaking in a new way that has become our reality. Ryan or I will post later today with an update on how things went. This is definitely a day where we need positive thoughts, vibes, and prayers more than ever!

UPDATE: So we're back and Jen is currently snoring resting on the couch next to me... I think she misunderstood that the bed rest requirement was for after our procedure on Thursday and not this one, but I'm not going to argue with her. They were able to retrieve 11 eggs from Jen (ALMOST a full carton), and I actually had good counts on my "army" - almost double anything I had produced earlier. They'll call us tomorrow to let us know how many eggs they were able to fertilize, and we'll go on from there. Thanks everyone for the happy thoughts.

My Wife, The Pincushion

I've never been one to enjoy watching pain inflicted upon others - in fact, the very thought of it makes me quite uncomfortable. Now, I'm not saying I enjoy watching Jen inject herself (to be honest, I suppose "watching" her inject herself would mean i would have to keep my eyes open when she draws the needle close to her stomach), but thinking about "why" she is taking shots (now 3x) every night, and I find myself looking forward to our 8pm rituals.

People have done nice things for me in my life, kind things, thoughtful things; but what Jen is doing for me us is beyond any of that. She's the ultimate team player and I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through.

I'm extremely proud of the fearlessness with which she attacks the shots each night - as if it's nothing, just brushing her teeth, washing her face, or some other nightly routine. I try my hardest to help her, prepare the syringes (I insist on doing this, she refuses to read the directions), wipe any post-injection blood off, and I even show her the proper way to wince as the needle breaks the skin.

In a few days, the injections will be over and we'll move on to another difficult process - the waiting. But for now, I smile in anticipation for tomorrow's wince.